My friend's parents are looking for a match for her. But, just like everyone, she isn't ready. You can come up with a million excuses when you don't want something. Too tall. Too thin. He has a PhD. He has a brother!
But then even a single fact that you love someone, isn't enough to be with them either. You need a million other things to make it actually happen. The stars have to match. The families have to gel. They should be from the same social strata. Oh, the list is endless. But when you think of it, does all of this really matter? It'll probably matter if you are in a country like India where familial ties are still strong. Where parents take care of kids until they're married. Where kids take care of their parents after their married.
But in a country like the USA, all that doesn't matter. None of the families care. It doesn't matter whether your spouse's family likes you or not. It doesn't matter which part of the country you are from. All you need is love.
So it becomes all the more important to find the one you love. To define love in fact. Everything else that is attached to marriage in India: kids, sex, living together is available even without that bond here.
So who do you say "I do" to?
You can narrow your choices to the people you like being with.
If they bring out a whole new side of you, you didn't know existed. If that someone else makes you a better person, then that person is for keeps for the rest of your life.
But there's no single such person. You feel comfortable around a lot of different people. Your thinking, your personality matches with a lot of people. I think, Everyone has multiple people made for them. And the one that you finally settle down with, can be anyone from that subset. You just have to fine-tune your frequencies a bit with the one you settle with.
A lot of times, the one you settle down with has a lot to do with age. Your priorities are different at different ages. You can't think of settling down with someone when you are in high-school. Nor can you think of it when you are focused on building your career. Love and all that becomes secondary then.
So is there a right age then? Maybe, maybe not. Whenever you feel you are "ready". It could be at different stages in their career for different people or different circumstances for different people. So you cannot really generalize.
Sometimes I think, can someone surpass that age?
I mean think of things that you weren't interested in until a certain age. I know this example might seem a little odd, but back when Pirates of the Caribbean released, I had no interest in watching it whatsoever. I thought they weren't my kind of movies. I watched them about 2 months back. When I finally got interested in them.
Similarly Harry Potter was something I loved reading. Even re-read them a couple of times. But when I tried to read it again a few days back, it wasn't interesting enough.
The point that I'm trying to make is,
There comes a point in your life where you want to get married, but can't because work was too demanding or something else. So, you want to get married but can't, whatever the reason maybe. And then whatever that situation was, passes by, where finally you can but you don't want to marry. The desire/age to get married is gone.
I have uncles who are unmarried. I don't know why. They've probably by-passed this age I am talking about.
But then even a single fact that you love someone, isn't enough to be with them either. You need a million other things to make it actually happen. The stars have to match. The families have to gel. They should be from the same social strata. Oh, the list is endless. But when you think of it, does all of this really matter? It'll probably matter if you are in a country like India where familial ties are still strong. Where parents take care of kids until they're married. Where kids take care of their parents after their married.
But in a country like the USA, all that doesn't matter. None of the families care. It doesn't matter whether your spouse's family likes you or not. It doesn't matter which part of the country you are from. All you need is love.
So it becomes all the more important to find the one you love. To define love in fact. Everything else that is attached to marriage in India: kids, sex, living together is available even without that bond here.
So who do you say "I do" to?
You can narrow your choices to the people you like being with.
If they bring out a whole new side of you, you didn't know existed. If that someone else makes you a better person, then that person is for keeps for the rest of your life.
But there's no single such person. You feel comfortable around a lot of different people. Your thinking, your personality matches with a lot of people. I think, Everyone has multiple people made for them. And the one that you finally settle down with, can be anyone from that subset. You just have to fine-tune your frequencies a bit with the one you settle with.
A lot of times, the one you settle down with has a lot to do with age. Your priorities are different at different ages. You can't think of settling down with someone when you are in high-school. Nor can you think of it when you are focused on building your career. Love and all that becomes secondary then.
So is there a right age then? Maybe, maybe not. Whenever you feel you are "ready". It could be at different stages in their career for different people or different circumstances for different people. So you cannot really generalize.
Sometimes I think, can someone surpass that age?
I mean think of things that you weren't interested in until a certain age. I know this example might seem a little odd, but back when Pirates of the Caribbean released, I had no interest in watching it whatsoever. I thought they weren't my kind of movies. I watched them about 2 months back. When I finally got interested in them.
Similarly Harry Potter was something I loved reading. Even re-read them a couple of times. But when I tried to read it again a few days back, it wasn't interesting enough.
The point that I'm trying to make is,
There comes a point in your life where you want to get married, but can't because work was too demanding or something else. So, you want to get married but can't, whatever the reason maybe. And then whatever that situation was, passes by, where finally you can but you don't want to marry. The desire/age to get married is gone.
I have uncles who are unmarried. I don't know why. They've probably by-passed this age I am talking about.
2 comments:
"demanding work" shouldn't stop you from marrying. one should learn to balance work and life well if they have not already learnt it.
Balancing work and life takes time- which varies for everyone before they're finally comfortable. But if they reach that comfort level after they've surpassed "that age" then that'd stop them from marrying.
And you say you have good comprehending skills. Good job.
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