Uh?

 I see a ray of light and run towards it. But as soon as I reach it, there's darkness all around again. I turn around and there's some light in the distance in another corner. I run towards it. Hoping to catch it this time around. Just ..too late. I am tired of running. But I can't stop. The moment I stop, I'll be lost in the darkness.

Sailing pics!

Hey so went sailing again the other day. This time it was a cold day and one of the crew people was missing, so I got to do a little more than last time:- I was the squirrel! Actually I was that the last time as well, but this time I did something in addition to this, but don't remember what it's called. Psch. God bless my memory!

Here's some of the pics to let you get a feel.

Mr. Rex - the Dad. 

Glenn, the son and owner of the boat. Oh you must see their constant bickering. You might think it would've subdued by this age. (He's about 40 and Rex's 70(?)) But no. Even now they fight like a teenagers. But it is entertaining, nonetheless :)
Oh and you see that open space on the very left of the screen? That's the squirrel's position.

One of the smaller fleet of boats.

Sailboats in a race.

How could I not put a pic of wolfgang! :)

Sherlock Holmes. Yeah.

It all started with a toilet seat that was left up. A toilet seat left up, In a woman's bathroom. Can only mean two things. Some guy used OUR toilet. Or there is a man among us! :O As improbable as that might sound, think about this. We've all seen cross-dressers or transexuals at some point on a subway metro bus, haven't we? Sometimes the line is blurred. Maybe it is made up. Maybe it is not. Remember Hangover2?
What if god intended to make you a girl, but changed his mind later? So your heart is that of a woman but the rest is a guy!
You decide to take matters into your own hands. Plus, There are doctors who help with that. It's a long slow procedure but it sure is possible. You fit all the parts with customized ones. The change is gradual and there is that awkward phase where you're in no mans land. You could be anyone.
So I start looking for potential women who fit the bill. The wolf in sheep's clothing.
The hero among the heroines.

After some trial and errors I zeroed in one figure. Ahha! Gotcha lady(?)! So i happened to be using the restroom the same time the wolf was using it. I chithatted about the weather and stuff and waited for her to leave. (Too much snooping around, no? )Then I went back to the one she had used. And the seat cover was not up!!
Psssh. 

And so my search for the hero continues.
Of course it'd be easier to just change the assumption that it was the cleaning guy who had decided to use the lady's toilet while he was at it, but hey what is life worth without some futile detective work?


You can say a lot more, it's ok ;)

Source Control 2.0

It is so annoying to listen to people talk about guys. Stuff like, How big their shoulders are. Or how tall they are. Pbbth.
 I mean there is so much more to think about than how they look! I switch off totally. Start making plans for next week and stuff. 
Speaking of which, been trying new awesome things, with new people.
 I went sailing! Amazing it is. If you ever get a chance to do it, you should. But be prepared to get tanned. So if you're planning to get married soon stay away. ;)
Or NOT. what the heck. It's your life!
Ok coming back, I forgot to put sunscreen on my shoulders and you won't believe how burnt they are now. So check point #2 : Wear sunscreen everywhere! Wait a min. Check #2?
What was check point #1? Be prepared to get tanned even after applying sunscreen.
Of course don't expect to be a master the first day. You'll get to hear tack, jibe a lot... If you're the inquisitive type you might wanna google about how sails masts work. You'll get a better perspective and understanding..
Abba I always go into weird details no? Anyway so I went out at about 10 am. And then there was no wind for the next 2 hours. And sailing is no fun with no winds. There is nothing to do. So we did the next best thing. Took off our clothes and jumped into the lake. ;) Had our own pool party with other people from other boats deciding to jump into the lake too..
Oh check point#3 : take hand sanitizer with you..you'll need once you swim and decide to eat. Sorry for the details again. But hey what fun is it without details?
Life would be so quiet without any digressing and arguing and coming to a consensus.
Applause for the originality! Ty Ty.

Ok then we ate and did some sailing. Since it was my first time I was just the ballast. Meanin whenever you tack (change the direction of the boat) you need to quickly go to the other side of the boat so there is more weight on the other side..
We had races with other sailors. Won one came 2nd once and came last the other time. And no there were not just 2 boats smart ass..
All in all I liked it. Will go again next week..hopefully.

Then last week I also played tennis..I think I'm naturally good at sports. Its like the chips for all sports are built in.. I just have to activate them..Also realized that I find  physically active men very appealing. It is sexy when guys put all their energy to return a shot. And what better sport to find that in than tennis. Ooh la la.

Studying wise, this semester is the most testing of all. Work getting more demanding plus two courses that I've taken as a distance student so I graduate this December. Then the job search.. You think you've reached  the stage where you are comfortable. And just when you start to get more comfortable, you are taken off guard. It's ok I guess. And then you feel good about yourself. Personality wise you are awesomer. Smile-wise you cant get any better.
I like to think I'm not narcisstic. But reading these posts you think otherwise, no?

Ugh and I hate trance. It is absolute shit. You have to be a dope head or completely drunk. Not my thing at all. I went to this dj concert kinda thingy. Full bored I was. Hard earned money gone down the drain . Bryan Adams is playing soon closeby. Dont mind paying for that..

Emosanal Atyachaar

 ऐसा क्यों होतो है की जो हमें चाहिए होता है कभी मिलता नहीं पर जो आँखों के सामने है, वो  चाहिए नहीं ? 

ऐसे क्यों है हम?

किसी की हसीं देखके जलते है

पर  रोता हुए देख आँखें होती है नम | 

किसी और की ज़िन्दगी मैं क्या हो रहा है ये जान्ने की बहुत इच्छा होती है क्यों

-ये जब खुद की ज़िन्दगी रेल की पटरी से derail होने वाली होती है|

अबे यार बहुत depression है यार||

Full-on ख़ुशी भी है और गम भी |

देने वाला जब भी देता, देता सब कुछ नाप के :|

Over and out!

Where am I?

What if someday you wake up and forget how to smile?
What if you forget your password to unlock your laptop?
What if you loved taking pictures, but no longer like doing it anymore?
What if someday you don't know what home is? You see a light at the end of a tunnel.
What if it is just the tail light of a train?
Then know that you are truly lost.
Or just have schizophrenia.

Birds and Bees.

Ok guys, some tips on general behavior around a girl. What NOT to do if you hope to be more than an acquaintance.

1.  Asking a girl's friend to set You up on a date. If you're not man enough to ask directly, why bother? Unless she's gay. Even then I doubt it.
2.  Everytime you see her talking to someone, you wanna butt in. Ok, that is fine. (Not really, but you can get away with that) But what is UNPARDONABLEe is you butting in everytime with the same 'joke': What is she troubling you with this time? (Or add some other sentence of your choice here) Get new jokes dude! OR wait for her sense of humour to change.
3. Calling her a dangerous snack mix or something on similar lines hoping that'll impress(!) her. If this works for anyone, please check, it's probably one of your guy friends with a wig having a good laugh.
4. Do NOT compliment a girl just for the heck of it. It is immediately noticed and all your attempts from that point on will go down the drain.
5. Comparing her with another friend of yours (girl) Doesn't matter even if you are complimenting her. Never ever compare two girls!
6. Do not lie. About anything.

Good luck! :)

Love love love!!!

Romantic or spontaneous? Some question I'd seen online, a quality you'd want in your husband. I think I'm spontaneous. So I wouldn't want the same thing in my husband.

On the other hand the guy who sits next to me in the office is damn romantic. I mean he's 70+ years old and calls his wife atleast thrice a day! All you guys out there take a lesson from here. He doesn't have a low voice so I can't help but hear him. :)
Some of things off the top of my head
"Hi!! I just called to say I was thinking of you" Woohoo! :)
"Hey sweetheart, do you want to go out for lunch with me. You decide where, we'll go to one of your favourite restaurants"
"Hi. Sorry I missed your call! Called as soon as I saw that you'd called. I miss you sweetheart."

It amazes me to see him so much in love. I mean at this age.
I can't imagine my grandparents being like this. Maybe they are, but aren't very vocal about it. But once my dad becomes a granddad, I can imagine him being all that..He recently said something in front of mom's dad. Grandpa was totally shocked. :))
Aaj bohot romantic mood mein ho kya baat hai.

It is true.
Love makes the world go round! :)

Warm fuzz

Somehow I landed on a blog. A dad blogging about his daughter. Everything about her. Like the tiniest possible detail. Made me relive all of my childhood.

How happy he must've felt when I was born. "'Kiti kautuk ticha'" How proud he must've been watching me learn to ride a cycle. Learn how to read. To swim. To study on my own. 

And somehow looking at all of dad's love, I also noticed the Mom always get sidelined. But then she's there somewhere in the background. These roles are probably reversed if you are a guy. 

Missing both of them. Like, a lot :( 

Ok gonna call dad now. 

Over and out.

Me and Theories. More me.

Over the years. Things change. You change. 

You sort of take the best things from around the people you know to become who you are.

Sometimes you pick up the wrong things. But someone else will come along and correct those things (hopefully)

OMG, How I met your mother is getting to me! Those lines sound like what Ted would say right? :))

But hey it's original haan!

So here are some of my quirks, lessons learnt, things that I picked up: 

1. I've begun reading books right from the foreword. Even textbooks. :)

2. I have to drink a glass of water after I brush my teeth.

3. I don't believe what people close to me are saying unless I get a proof from someone else.

    Got that from Dad. Pisses Mom a lot of times. Even I get pissed. 

    But, now, I do the same thing! :|

4. I tend to talk and be nice to people who aren't that close to me.

    But, My family, my room-mates: I get pissed with.

    Reversing that. Surely!

5. I want to travel the world. But, not alone.

6. I love watching movies on HBO. Entertaining. Insightful.              Missing that now :|

7. If the reasons are compelling enough, anybody can be anybody!

    "Miss Poet" talking :D

8. I think I let people take advantage of me. 

    My premise: Everybody is good, unless proven to be wrong.

    But, over the years again, it has changed to: 

        Everybody is bad, unless they keep proving they're good.

9. I like being goofy. It's sad when people think that is all there is to me.

   Shows they don't know me. Hence, I'm not supposed to feel bad about it.

   But, I STILL feel bad.

   Which gets me to the point:

10. I am super-sensitive. I cry. A lot.

     For silly things. Can't stop. :|

That rhymes.

11. I have a theory: People are born with/over the years develop a basic underlying emotion. That is the emotion they go to by default, when they don't know how to react. 

When caught in headlights, the deer:

Jokes/Cries/Gets angry.

My friend got mad at her bf, when he fell sick (How is it his fault that he fell sick?) But then, that is her underlying emotion: Getting angry.

Another one got yelled at by a random book-seller at a stall: She started crying. That is her underlying basic emotion..

Another...etc etc etc.

Think about it. Do you know what your underlying emotion is?

Something's fishy.

"Step out in style" - is my dad's mantra. To an extent I think his daughters have got a pretty good hang of it. :D
But sometimes the circumstances are not in your hands.
You have oil in your hair, the water hasn't heated up yet and exactly then your dog runs out of the house. And the roles reverse. YOU have to chase it.
Or something close to it.
So I like smelling good. Another trait inherited from Dad. And I totally hate it when I/my_clothes smell. No not the human sweaty smelly thingy. HERE, in the US of A, the ventilation sucks.
When I first got here, I remember feeling claustrophobic. No windows! AC on all the time, so everything has to be shut. But you get used to it. But the problem arises, for me atleast, when we cook.
The typical Indian food, with all the spices. You don't open the door and your house/clothes left outside- everything would smell of the spices. Don't get me wrong. I love Indian food. I love the aroma. I love the spices.. But not if it looks like my clothes have been washed in it.
I am extremely particular about keeping the door open and pissing off all my room-mates whenever I cooked.
So in this new apartment, I did the same. Opened the door. Cooking, oblivious to the surroundings.
Everytime we cooked, we would hear a door suddenly slamming shut. Then finally one day we were asked to close our door when we cook. This time, the neighbors had a problem.
But, I cheated. I kept the door slightly open. Didn't realize how frustrated my neighbours really were. Somebody actually came and closed the door shut from outside. :))

Yummy Avocado rolls at Kyoto's. You should totally try them!

I know it is annoying I guess. When people cook seafood, the whole floor stinks! You can smell it as soon as you step out of the elevators.
But then again, what is the other option? I dont want the house to smell. (Read: my clothes) An open window doesn't help that much.
Reiterating, why is the ventilation so bad! Stooopid ACs.

Mythological past Modernistic future.

Interesting read:

http://ibnlive.in.com/blogs/madhuribanerjee/2956/62470/the-5-guys-every-woman-should-have.html

Read and come back here to discuss with me.
Ok first the title: 5 guys every women 'should' have is a bit too much. I don't think the categories of the bad guy or the love buddy need to be in there.

I also think you can't really put one person in just one category. There could be an overlap of traits, after all, humans are complicated. Your best friend could smoke or be the bad guy, vice-versa. The one person who fits all the categories would be your husband. More than the habits/ thoughts it's how well you gel with him.
Who cares what has happened in the past. Everyone has a past. But if you want that to ruin your future, then even God can't help you.
Going by the comments on that page, half of them are scandalized about dragging Draupadi into this. To them: Go read/ watch the series again. Actually read. Because a video edits out a lot of details from a book.
You cannot compare everything to the scriptures. Back then, there was no government. There were kingdoms. And different rules. People thought differently. When someone gave a word to someone else, it was final. Draupadi wanted Bheem to go kill someone just because he didn't keep his word. Would that happen now? Are men like that?
When the men have changed, so have the women.
Did women work anywhere other than being maids or courtesans or cooks back then? Didn't the men enjoy more than women and treat them as objects?
Now we have women working and running the household. some cases even supporting the out-of-a-job husband. The household dynamics have changed. There is a shift in power. The man is no longer the 'man' of the house. Roles change. So do the expectations.
But still there are men out there who want to treat women like they are objects. Wake up! Give her the respect she deserves.

And then there are others on that page, who are offended just to think that their wife would have been with a guy before. Hypocrites who would have desperately wanted/tried to get a gf in college, but couldn't get one. And now can't accept it that she would have been with someone. To all of them, may you get a wife who will lie to you about everything, just to keep you happy. Who will fulfill every whim and fancy, and keep you 'happy'.

People don't know from the beginning if a relationship will work or not. You keep going until you/other person feel that you cannot marry this person.
And then there is the fresh new start. It's not that a girl/boy would have wanted to have a past. It's just that he/she does. Accept it. Don't let that ruin your married life.

Does the writing seem too feminist? I'd love to know what you think about this.

Feelings are universal.

Animals are lovely! It's amazing to see them exhibit all the usual feelings a human has. Sometimes maybe more human than humans themselves. Think of all the cold people you know of. To get what I'm talking about.

My dog is a part of the family. She loves us like we love her. We scold her she feels bad and goes and sits in a corner of the house feeling all dejected. You can see those expressions on her face!
We praise her and she's all happy and excited and tries to please us more and keep us happy.
She always wants to be in the middle of things. If someone is on the phone and in the house, she starts barking. Why aren't you talking to me?! Why are you giving that small object more importance than me? :)
So human-like. So lovely.

You don't talk to someone, it's a normal day for you. But when you talk, you're happy for no reason.

Not many people can make you feel that way.

Watch this video, it'll make you happy for sure.  :)

A perfect world.

Everybody has their own priorities in life. Some want to earn a lot of money. Some want to be famous. Some just want to be known as "the-guy-who-does-X-awesomely".
Whatever it is, everybody is after something.
But in that pursuit of theirs, they're trying to put everyone else down. Why I ask? Why are people the way they are?
So what if you don't know something? Accept you don't know it. If the other person is mature enough, he will understand that you haven't done it before and would help you learn.
But if the person is one of those countless others who once you tell them you don't know something, will belittle you at every possible occasion just because he 'knows': that's when people act like they know it, even when they don't..
Actually it's not even about maturity. Coz even old uncles who are supposed to guide and support you put you down! So, it'n not even about age or maturity..Some superiority complex I guess. Everybody wants to be called a stud. Doesn't matter if they themselves have gained knowledge some 5 mins back from someone else, in front of others, they portray themselves to be know-it-alls.
To avoid that feeling of being put down.
But children, Wake up!
Arey how can everyone know everything bhai? What faaltuness.

At least they're being honest. At least they're trying to learn. At least they tried.
So this one time my friend invited us over to her house for lunch since her parents weren't home. She had made food for a big group (about 10 people) so salt/mirchi is bound to be off by a bit. But hey, atleast she tried.
Then, this guy started making fun of her. Why did you try to cook? Why did you even try making things when you couldn't? Paapa. Atleast she cooked. Atleast she invited You!
Boys are idiots.
People are mean!
And I am a saint.

Aam Dosti: Fun intended ;)

So my friends and I did some online brainstorming and came up with this song!
All we need to do now is compose it. Will be out with a sound track soon. So till then, Enjoy the lyrics and wait for the song! :)


Inn panchiyo sang hum udey hawa mein
Chaley kahi us duur jahan mein
Hain jaha dost hamare
Udd chaley hum us disha mein

Chaahe hawa ho hamare against
Udd te rahe usi disha mein
Jaha ho mere dost
Vahi rehna hai mujhe the most

Jahaa din ho laughter se bhara
Vaha khana rahega sada
Hai vo jagah vahi
Dost hai mere jaha sabhi

Gaana bajaate rahenge is tarah
Jam karte jagah ko kardenge tabah
D scale bajayenge milke sabhi.
Is lamhe ko kaid karle yahi

Naachte gaate hojaye shaam
40rs mein 2 kg aam
Jab mil baithe teen yaar
Hum tum aur mango- the aam

Ye pal na aayega kabhi
Jeelo ismein zindagi sabhi
Aise hi ise na khone do
Iss pal ko gale laga lo

PS: Love our times together! :)
Sup Vj and me!

Lessons for my kids :))

Noticed how the past couple of blog entries have a complaining tone to it!
We shall talk about something happy today. :)
Like how some of the best things in life happen unexpectedly. Like how your personality has a lot to do with what happens around you as a kid.
Mom hates "socializing". You know going out or inviting people over to 'hang out'. But Dad's quite the opposite.

And..
I'm their kid.
What do I like?

So, unexpectedly, we went to mom's colleague's place one day. And somehow I often remember that day. I mean little things that happen everyday, remind me of that visit.
I don't remember the colleague's name: so we shall address him as Uncle.
Uncle had a huge dog. In an apartment. I was scared of dogs before that day.
But that dog was obedient and friendly and all that a dog can be. That's the first memory I have of me starting to love dogs.
Uncle introduced me to Origami. I enjoyed learning it. It kept me occupied that day and several days after that. Kept my friends busy too..
Somehow whenever I've made that paper ball again, it made me proud that I learnt something new.

Uncle also gave me this book of Hymns. I never used it. It just lay there in my cupboard. One day one of my relatives sees it and throws it out. "Why do you have a book on Christianity at home?" :O
Go be happy in your own religious world if that is what keeps you happy. Don't drag me into it!
I mean my parents never force me to follow things that I don't believe in. Although they believe in it. I think we have that freedom of doing things that feel right to us. And this outsider acted like he has a say in my life.
Why is everyone always  trying to recruit you onto their side?
As of today, I am in no man's land.

I'd like to teach my kids these things. Although I do understand that these things cannot be 'taught'.

Learnt how to make a bird today so I can pass on the joy of learning Origami to my kids. 

The bird would've looked nicer in colored paper I think. There's no "Assam tea uncle's" shop here that I can run and get something from. (There was a shop beside our house that sold arts and crafts and tea and everything in between. ;) Never thought I'd remember THAT of all things.) 

Love

I love animals. Especially dogs! To death. I know fore sure I will have atleast one dog in our house if not more..
Also, the size doesn't matter. (Pun unintended)
Little puppies are adorable. I mean who in the world hates puppies? Actually I do know someone who hates "puppies", but then I think she's just trying to "be different". Bleh. Things people do to get attention!
Anyway, so this was about dogs!

Everytime I passed this house beside ours, I had to stop by and play with their dog..They usually tied him out for an hour everyday and he would sit around in the yard waiting for people to stop by. I made it a point to play with him everyday, even if it meant taking a longer route! My day would turn infinitely brighter. :) I forget his name now though. Gah, have to do something about my memory!

These dogs below look kinda scary on first sight, but they were so friendly! Don't know how they take care of not one, but two such huge dogs! Taking care of such dogs can be quite a task. The amount of food, the amount of exercise, all becomes extremely important. Point in case is our dog back home. We didnt take her for walks regularly and now she's enormous! But that doesn't stop us from loving her as much as we do. My sis is trying to correct that now- taking her for regular walks and all..But then she was also pregnant sometime back. So we shall not be too harsh on her.

Darlings

This is my tired, fat but adorable lovey-dove :

How I miss you!

And her kids: :)

Labrador Pups

On the same lines (not really) please avoid travelling in horse-drawn carriages! It's like making a baby give you a piggy-ride. It is painful to watch them :(

I mean after so many modes of transportation available, why do you have to travel by a horse-cart? Buy a car, take a bus. Ride a bicycle or just walk! Spare the animals please!

Something.

How much is too much? How much is too close? When do you decide that "that" crossed the line? Somebody else cannot draw that line for you. You have to draw your own lines. Don't allow anybody inside that square box. The minute you do that, you are gone. They will walk all over you. Stamp your face and leave like nothing happened.
The fact that you let them into your space means that they mean something to you. But notice how, every single time that happens, you are unhappy?
Some incident, started off this chain of thought. I am not going to mention it, but I empathize with her.
I hate being dependent on someone else. For anything. It makes me feel weak. I don't want any favors from anybody. Not even my friends. Because everyone expects something in return. Nobody is or can be that good to be good to you without expecting anything.
Parents always are saying these kinds of things right? Trying to protect you. But you never want that protection. "I know my friends. I know they're not bad. Don't tell me who to hang out with or not."
Maybe we should all just shut up, stop thinking and listen to our parents.
You can never get enough of what you don't really need!

School time.

I had an opportunity to teach a few KG kids at a local school here. It was voluntary and we had to make them aware about our culture. There's enough that kids here know about Mexico and China in a way but nothing very distinctive about India. So my partner and I made a presentation and showed them what an Indian flag looks like, our national bird, the festivals food etc.
My partner started presenting it like it were a bunch of serious professors and it was his thesis he was defending. "So today i will be talking about india. India is a vast country blah blah".I was like dude. They're in KG!

That's when I took over. I thought I'd suck at teaching. I mean, I'm sure all of us as kids would have started off thinking, One day I'll be a teacher! Well, most of the girls think so anyway. But later those dreams turn into something more...lucrative? Here was a chance to live that dream.. I tried to make it more interactive. Making them try to pinpoint India on the map.
Or Asking them to identifythe colors in our flag, count the spokes..


I'm sure you've heard before, "
Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Teach me and I will understand.

" You have to involve them for them to learn something. It was very satisfying!

Kids here are very vocal about their thoughts and what they feel. Not that I remember how all of us were in KG but I probably was the quiet shy kid who answered only when asked a question to.
So when I entered the class, this girl comes and hugs me, gives me a kiss as soon as I enter. :)says she loves my outfit- things you'd expect an adult to say or do.:)

Everyone was so enthusiastic!
Who can tell me what each color of the flag signifies?? Me! Me!
Who can tell me what our national bird is!
And some of them are so smart! They catch on to each word of yours and remember all of it.
Made me realize teachers play such an important part in our lives. A teacher can actually mould and shape a students future if  he wished to.
I felt good that I made a small difference in the way they see the world that day..
When asked a question, a kid raises her hand before I finish. I was thinking wow, now that's a smart kid. When asked to answer he goes, Can I use the toilet? :)) wasn't expecting that!
And then, remember how when we make too much noise, we were asked to "put a finger on your lips", here they ask you to put a bubble in your mouth. Basically puff up your cheeks like your mouth is full.
:) I really liked their classroom. 

It was so colorful. Had maps of the world. Had all kinds of musical instruments. Had a computer. A projector. You name it. 
Learning is made very interactive. They had a fireman come over and show them how they douse off fire. To show them what a fireman's job is like. To get a feel of the pressure of the water and things like that.. Here's a picture of them......... ^-^


 Every week new people from different walks of life are brought in.. Nice, right? I sometimes wish I'd studied here. Maybe not school but engineering atleast..
Would have learnt so much more...


PS: I'd written out this post 2 days back, even put it on my blog, but now I see that it's gone! :O How can that happen? I know I published it. I know I had it. But it was gone. I though I'd written the other one better. :-?

Elevators!

Living in a building with 30 floors has its perks. You should see the view from our window: It is beautiful. Of course there is a flip side to everything. In this case, it's the never ending elevator rides. Yappa! I dread those rides: especially when there are just two strangers in it and one of them doesn't really want to be a stranger.

So this one time, this African guy and I get into the lift to get to the lobby. 23 floors. Plenty of time.
He (grunts): Where are you from?
Me: India.
(19 floors to go)
He (the grunt again): Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: :-? :-O (Thinking: Where did that come from? Really? Is that the first thing you ask? Wow. Desperate. Damn. 15 more floors to go!) Yeah. (Only an idiot would have said No)
He:(still grunting) How long have you been together?
Me: Two years. (Two sounds stable. Kinda safe.)
(11 floors)
He (you know how he talks by now): Do you live alone in the apartment? (He's seen where I stay)
Me: No. I live with another girl.
6 floors..
He: You're beautiful.
Me: .... Tried to smile.
Awkward silence..
And finally,
after what felt like ages,
THE LOBBY!! Freeeedom!
(Thankfully I haven't seen him again, yet. But he knows where I stay :-/)

Another day another scene.
Coming up from the lobby. Already five people inside. Didn't want to wait for another lift. So I squeeze in. Keep staring at the closed lift door.
Then out of nowhere this guy with a golden tooth waves his hands in front of me trying to catch my attention.
He: "Hi"
Me: :)
He: Are you single?
Me: (Wha?) No.
His friend (to him): Maybe she is, but just not for you.
Loud guffaws follow.
That's when I realize they're drunk. At 4 in the evening. Awesome.
Floor 14.
He: You are not married yet, right?
Me: No. (I'm thinking, "What the.....Asshole. How dare he" I want to say it. But I don't. It's never a good idea to abuse drunk people) Still staring intently at the lift door.
All but one get off 2 floors before I do.
And the other guy in the lift goes:
That must have been embarrassing!
Me: Yeeeeahhh!
He:  There's a difference between being forward and over-forward.
I'm like "I know right! Assholes were all drunk!"
He: I don't know. But sure felt awkward in here.
He gets off.
And I finally am Home! Sweet home.

Scene three:
He: Hi where are you from?
Me: India.
He: Isn't that in West Africa?
Me: .............

You know what my worst nightmare is? Getting stuck in the elevator! And the damn phones don't work either!

Kaash

Tried writing in Hindi for the first time. Please bear with the grammar and correct me if I'm wrong.

काश ये वो  दिन  होता

जब  तुम  मेरे  साथ  थे 

जब  आँख   खुलती 

और  तुम  नज़र  आते 

काश  ये   वो  दिन  होता 

जिस  दिन  तुम  मुझसे  झगडे 

थोड़ी  बातें  और  करते 

और problem सुलझाते 

काश  ये  वो  दिन  होता 

जब  तुमने  मुझसे  प्यार  जताया 

और  दिन  से  रात  कब  हुई 

पता  भी  न  चला 

काश  ये  वो  दिन  होता 

जब  बात  करते  करते  नींद  लग  जाती 

आज  कल  रोये  बिना 

नींद  नहीं  आती 

काश  ये  एक  C program होता .

रोज़  उसे  normal mode  में  run करते 

और  जब  कुछ  अंचाहा हुआ 

Debug mode में  run करते 

काश  तुमसे  प्यार  न  हुआ  होता 

किसी  और  से  प्यार  करने  की  चाहत  तो  रहती 

काश  हम  एक  दुसरे  को  ठीक  से  समझ  पाते 

हमारी  कहानी  यूँ  अधूरी  न  रह जाती|

What, When, Who?

My friend's parents are looking for a match for her. But, just like everyone, she isn't ready. You can come up with a million excuses when you don't want something. Too tall. Too thin. He has a PhD. He has a brother!

But then even a single fact that you love someone, isn't enough to be with them either. You need a million other things to make it actually happen. The stars have to match. The families have to gel. They should be from the same social strata. Oh, the list is endless. But when you think of it, does all of this really matter? It'll probably matter if you are in a country like India where familial ties are still strong. Where parents take care of kids until they're married. Where kids take care of their parents after their married.
But in a country like the USA, all that doesn't matter. None of the families care. It doesn't matter whether your spouse's family likes you or not. It doesn't matter which part of the country you are from. All you need is love.
So it becomes all the more important to find the one you love. To define love in fact. Everything else that is attached to marriage in India: kids, sex, living together is available even without that bond here.

So who do you say "I do" to?
You can narrow your choices to the people you like being with.
If they bring out a whole new side of you, you didn't know existed. If that someone else makes you a better person, then that person is for keeps for the rest of your life.
But there's no single such person. You feel comfortable around a lot of different people. Your thinking, your personality matches with a lot of people. I think, Everyone has multiple people made for them. And the one that you finally settle down with, can be anyone from that subset. You just have to fine-tune your frequencies a bit with the one you settle with.

A lot of times, the one you settle down with has a lot to do with age. Your priorities are different at different ages. You can't think of settling down with someone when you are in high-school. Nor can you think of it when you are focused on building your career. Love and all that becomes secondary then.

So is there a right age then? Maybe, maybe not. Whenever you feel you are "ready". It could be at different stages in their career for different people or different circumstances for different people. So you cannot really generalize.
Sometimes I think, can someone surpass that age?
I mean think of things that you weren't interested in until a certain age. I know this example might seem a little odd, but back when Pirates of the Caribbean released, I had no interest in watching it whatsoever. I thought they weren't my kind of movies. I watched them about 2 months back. When I finally got interested in them.
Similarly Harry Potter was something I loved reading. Even re-read them a couple of times. But when I tried to read it again a few days back, it wasn't interesting enough.
The point that I'm trying to make is,
There comes a point in your life where you want to get married, but can't because work was too demanding or something else. So, you want to get married but can't, whatever the reason maybe. And then whatever that situation was, passes by, where finally you can but you don't want to marry. The desire/age to get married is gone.
I have uncles who are unmarried. I don't know why. They've probably by-passed this age I am talking about.

Shri shri shri.

Occasionally, the saint in me can't keep quiet any longer and decides to speak out. Before she decides to leave,

here it goes:

People who give up don't know how close they were to success when they did.

I'm sure everyone goes through a time where it all feels wrong. All you want to do is seek out for help, take the shortcut, easy way out, what not. You want to reach out for help or take a quick exit from the situation. 

But you need to know this:  When it all feels wrong, all you need to do is hang in there.

How many times has it not happened that you seek out for help and the solution comes to you in a flash?

If you had persevered long enough, it would have made sense anyway. It's not that you don't have the ability to figure things out, it's just that you gave up.

Of course, this doesn't apply when there are too many parameters involved. But when the only parameter in question is YOU, don't give up! 

You will get there eventually. Just be patient! :)

P.S.

1.  My cousin bestowed the title of this post on me, during one of the saint's visits.

2. Office life teaches you quite a few things. ;)

Meri jai ho! (Very modest, aren't we? ;))

My latest addiction.

I think about you night and day. See what your latest updates are. Look out for anything that is related to you. I think I have a major crush on you. It has even got to a point where now I dream of you :)
If that's got you curious enough, No, this is not some guy I am talking about. Nope. Not today. Not this time. This time it is...........

A girl!
Just kidding. ;) Not.
Not not.
Aah I think I killed the joke. Anyway.

It is this stupid crazy obsession I have with make-up. If you've known me, even for a few hours, you so cannot relate that to me. At all. Ever. Never. But....You Never say Never! :)) (Stupid song btw)

So here's a picture of what I considered makeup sometime back. A hint of lip-gloss, some eye-liner and loose powder would all you could get me to wear. Forcibly or willingly. That's it. Just those things.
Even to a wedding. Or some major dress-up event.
This be all of it.--------------------->




And now. Look at what this girl has become. A crazy make-up maniac. On the loose.

This is all my make-up that I own. As of this week that is. :D
I feel there's so much more that I don't have. I'm going shopping next week. ;) And the crazy part is, I don't feel like stopping. It's like why did I miss out on all this all these years. There's so much you can do. So many variations. So many colors. And it all looks awesome on anybody. Like, anybody can look like a star. With a LOT of this stuff, of course. ;)

Here's what it can do:

From plain janes to bombs. Don't get distracted.
Concentrate only on the make up. On her FACE.

I just love their eyes. They all look so good!
 

JLo's Smoky eyes. Ooooh.
Wow, I can't believe it's me saying things like this ;)

I know a lot of you may not agree with me. You might say beauty lies in simplicity. Sure. If you think someone looks good even without it, nothing can beat that compliment :) Plus, you can't wear make up everywhere, every time. It's times when you want to look good and feel good. I think it gives a very polished look and shows that you care enough for the occasion to be well-dressed.

This is for those kind of people who think stars are from heaven.

Anybody can look good if they wanted to. You can't force them. It's not in your hands. And it is stupid to gawk at pretty girls, compare us to them and think we are just home-bred chickens( ghar-ki-murgis ). I could be anything I WANT. I could look as good as HER.

If I wanted to..

Heaven

Looking at those photographs, they turn around and make me laugh. 
Oh my God! Is that the way I looked! :O 
And all those memories flooding back in. The first year of college. The excitement. 
The ragging. The struggle to make an impression. New friends. Fitting in. Labs. Classes. Comments. Getting thrown out of class. Settling in. Getting to know people better. Those gang of stupid guys who sweet talk with you and talk shit behind you- you know it, but you still can't do anything about it. Those stares you get when you walk by. The poker- face you put on when you pass by, secretly enjoying the attention. :)


Bunking classes. Bribing the watchman to let you out of college. The long walk, riding the bus, shared-auto or whatever ride you get- reaching the movie theatre just in time. Going home late and making up excuses. Getting caught and being grounded. ;)
Those mass bunks. Getting yelled at the next day. Those endless smses sent.Those forwards that you have to forward to your whole contact list. Your first pillion ride at 100 kmph. Learning how to drive a bike. Yelling at someone else, even when it was you who rammed your bike into them. Those coaching classes. Those last minute preparations. The customary burning of the midnight lamp. Dozing off a zillion times but managing to finish the syllabus JIT. The endless wait for the exam results. Convinced that you are gonna fail. And then go out and celebrate when you actually pass (the icing on the cake is when you've topped the class). Promises that you'd visit a temple. Unkept promises. Arguments. The birthdays. The college canteen. Crazy pranks. Laughing so hard that you cry. 


Everybody starts off with hating college and complaining about it. I was no different. And I never thought a day would come and I'd feel this way, but I miss college!

Priceless Expressions

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can’t erase
You can’t replace it
I miss it now
I can’t believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it!

Old is gold

From the number of couples I see around, looks like old men are in demand. Lots of cases, the guy's 45 and the wife's 25.. I wonder how they connect.
"When I was your age...."
"But this is how it is nowadays.."
would be a part of so many conversations.
I honestly can't think of anything appealing enough, but on second thoughts, some of the possibilities could be:

1. Maturity. Girls tend to mature much earlier than boys. So if you are looking for someone who you can look upto for advice/ solutions you'd have to marry an older guy. If you've aged too soon, then the 45 year old would seem like the right one for you.
2. Stability: Someone old would already have settled down and is well past the early struggles in life. Work/marriage(s)/kid(s): been there done that. So if you like your husband ready-to-go, then tada!
3. Looks: Men tend to look better as they age. So, could be, maybe it was the looks.
4. Good in bed: Yeah. All that. Is the best.
5. Money: For the lazy (l)asses in search of self-made gold-mines.

Why a man would want a much younger wife:

1. Easy(!) to comprehend(?).
2. Caring: Here's, your medication, dentures and walking stick, hon.
3. Low maintenance. Happy with flowers, bags, shoes. By the time comes to buy the rest, he'd probably be dead.
4. Get to be the boss: I have seen far many seasons than you. Trust me, I know better.
5. No wrinkles or stretch marks.

As long as you're happy.
Young or old,
White or black,
Whatever floats your boat.

A larger pair of shoes

I feel old. I'm losing hair, it's turning gray, and I'm not even in my mid-twenties! :O
The past one year has sped up my aging process. Last year this time, mentally I was 5 years old. Now I'm 50. (Weight of wisdom)

So here's my take on life, from the other side of 50:
The parent:
I have to take care of my family. My kids. My house. My work. But no matter how much I do, it's never enough for them. I come back early from office. Just to get demands from the kids. I buy something for them on my trip out, but it is not what they wanted. They're used to getting my gifts all the time. I spend all my time thinking about how I can make my loved ones happier. I'm scared about the bad people in the world. I want them to be miles away from my kids. But I don't know what the kids are up to. They're so secretive about everything. They barely talk to me. And when I try to be a part of their life, I become the villain. I am the control freak. And what do I get in return? Nothing. You never realize that maybe sometimes I want something in return as well. I am not asking you to be indebted to me. No. It is my duty as a parent to love you. But, I want to feel cared for too. I want my kids to feel they're loved and love me back. Sometimes all I need is a hug. A word of thanks. A little love is all that I am asking for.

The other side:
It's not like I don't know what you're doing for us. I see your struggle. I see the office pressure, the commute, the sacrifice. I know you love me. I see it. It's just that sometimes I wish to do things by myself. I need to grow up too. Live life. See what's out there. You cannot keep protecting me from everything that's out there.
So what if I'm the weak one? How else will I know what's not good, if I don't make my own mistakes? You cannot live my life for me.

My take on arriving at a balance is, when you are a parent, let your kids do things that they can do themselves, by themselves. Have you seen the number of spoilt brats around? One mistake parents make is in thinking, Oh he cannot do this by himself, without even letting them try first. And then there never comes a point where they think the kids have grown enough to do that particular work themselves. You are not only making kids lazy, but also instilling in them that someone is there to do it for you.
Kids on their part don't realize just how much their parents do for them until they themselves become parents. They're always expecting something done, as soon as the words are out of their mouth. Realize that if there is something that you can do yourself, never ask someone else to do it for you.

You cannot point your finger at any of them. They're both right, almost. Just that somewhere a line needs to be drawn. No matter how old you are, kids will remain - just that - kids to the parents. The trick is in finding the balance.
Which you achieve when you turn 50 (mentally)

On a related, lighter topic, check out the picture. Sometimes kids know more than their parents. Time for a role reversal then.

Dislikes

A list of qualities that I completely detest in men. I'd hate it if he has even one of these.

• A guy who looks good and KNOWS that he looks good. Oh spare me the airs! 
• Someone who's too worried about his looks. Someone who is in front of the mirror more than his girl. Next, please.
• A guy who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. My God, how do they even get that feeling? Me thinks, they haven't taken a look around and seen what's out there. I wouldn't want to be the one to burst their bubble. Let someone else do it.
• When a guy sees a girl and keeps TURNING to look at her. Come on, that is reeking of desperation! Besides, I can't be that good looking! ;)
• Somebody who won't change his stance in a situation, even when proven to be wrong. It's good to see men who can accept defeat and not crib.
• Is not courteous to a girl. No matter how "equal" the genders get, chivalry is something that should always stay.

Cute little things that you do for me

I randomly came across these pictures here yesterday and thought they deserve some publicity. These are some of my favourites:




Sweet Oranges. A cozy nice home. And the sweetest husband. What more does a girl need.



Good Morning hun!



Honey you're home! Meow.Woof woof.



Aww. The perfect fit!

Arranged marriage

Will start of with some words of wisdom from the Internet.
"Don't promise when you are happy. Don't reply when you are angry. Don't decide when you are sad."
And now my words of wisdom.


The clock is ticking. The one on my hand + my biological one. I am not getting any younger, although at heart, it is a different story altogether. Very soon I have to get married. All those lovey-dovey couples around me are mocking me. Oh you're single? You're gonna let your parents choose..Good luck babe!

I'm paranoid about getting married. It's a guy thing I know. But hey, I'm a guy at heart remember? ;) Haven't married ever, yet, but the whole arranged marriage thing is getting to me. I'm dreading that show that we(the girl's side, {come to think of it, the guy's side too!}) have to put up, where the actors on one part of the stage all have to act like the other side has descended from heaven. 

Everything from your clothes to how your house looks. Your make up. No make up(this includes the blushing, smiling, looking down) = she was forced to seeing the guy.
Make-up = Oh she's so vain.
Simple clothes= she doesn't really care about the outcome of this show.
Dolled up= She's so modern. Reject!
The girl's confident= she'd be a dominating daughter in law. 
Diffident= guy won't like it. The girl wouldn't like it either.

Better qualified guy= more dowry. (OMG that's a whole other story)
Less qualified=you're not happy.
You mess up one bit, and your Gods leave. Probably your soul-mate too. 


And then there's the next show.

This and that

I just learned that the term used for the Black people I was talking about previously is Ghetto. And all the babes straighten their hair because it is more manageable. D-uh!
By the way, if you notice, it's just the guys who smell weird..
And that I should have renamed the post to Black instead of Colors :)) since I wasn't really talking about other 'colors'.
There. Did that make you happy? :)

While we're talkin about colors, I have a confession to make: my sister is omnipresent. I see her in the lift, On the road and she has, like, a billion look-alikes. My parents haven't told her yet that she's adopted.

I have a new interest to learn Spanish. Visit a few places in Central America: Panama looks beautiful. So does Honduras.
I wish I could just take a backpack and go. But I've heard it's a dangerous city from a guy- a lazy Latino -Is that being racist too? Or just stereotyping the men? What's the difference between stereotyping and being a racist by the way?

We all feel that our older generations had everything easy, right? Be it in their jobs/ education / family. But the grass always seems greener on the other side. A job in a bank is as bad as IT or say being a doctor. 

I'm already feeling the job pressure, and it's barely been two months! On the flip side, it's interesting plus I'm learning so much..

I barely have sensation left on my fingertips. I'm getting there, Kelly valleau. Oh my God, you should listen to him play! He is my new guru-The old one was Bryan Adams..

Bigmouthed

I have this habit of speaking what's on my mind. Almost never do I think about what the other might feel. I just have to be *honest* to the point of hurting others. And the worst part is I know I've said something wrong, start feeling really bad about it and then forget about it! But the other person continues to remember it for a long time.

How do you bite back your tongue and keep whatever it is that is on your mind, only in your head? If I do that, I feel like I'm being dishonest to myself. And I feel I can't live with that. But then, if I continue this way, I'm sure nobody would like talking to me.

I'm torn between living with myself and living up to the world's standards. Feeling really really bad. Mai aisi kyun hoon? :((

Colors

The post might seem racist. But it's not. These are genuine questions I have, I'm sorry if you are offended.

Not that everyone out there is like that. I have met people at office/college who obviously are educated and some of the things have changed in them. But a majority of the people you see on the subways/ outside in general are downright scary.
Why do they have to wear their hair like that? If you look around and find weird hairstyles, 99 out of a 100 times it'll be a black person(I don't like use that word, but now you know who I am talking about.)
You have to see them to believe what I am saying.
They've got blonde hair(why doesn't it occur to them that evolution-wise, they don't have hair like that in the first place, because it doesn't suit them? Don't they get that themselves?)
Half their head is shaved and the other half has a layered haircut. And this was a woman.
Have you noticed every woman's got straight hair? I mean everyone of them. They have to iron it. Like the entire community, really? Why?
I mean can you imagine say, the Chinese, with curly hair? Wonder what  the fascination with straight hair is.

Oh and the stench. I can understand why the women would smell maybe. It's the hair again. To keep the ironing on for a longer time, you'd have to hold off washing your hair and stuff.
But the thing is, even men with short hair smell bad. I noticed that even at office!

On the bus back yesterday, a guy had asked for change when I'd got onto the bus. I walked past him and sat in a seat far away from him. He then gets up and sits in the seat before me. Imagine my horror. And the worse part was, now there was a guy in the seat in front of me and one behind me. And they start talking about how they like large women and what they like in them. I cannot imagine how anybody can be so uncouth and disrespectful! And you cannot imagine the state of terror I was in. I had just shopped a truckload of stuff and my only worry was they don't slit my throat just for all the bags.
Even though there were people from everywhere in the bus, I knew nobody would come forward to help even if something did happen.
The first time I've felt so vulnerable and helpless in life. There are bad people on buses in India as well. But in the event something happens, you can be sure that help is at hand and that there will be a few Samaritans on board to help. But in this case I wasn't even sure of that.
The 5 mins that I was in the bus felt like eons.
The guy in front of me had some white liquid on him and he had some ready on the tip of his fingers. And I thought it was chloroform which he would use on me!
OMG why do these guys have to terrorize people like this?

People have a certain image of  blacks in general and they do nothing to change that perception. You can change that image if you change a bit. Maybe a little sympathy, some hygiene and some politeness? Is it too much to ask for?

A girl I knew.

Inspired from a girl who loved someone, but eventually had to marry someone else. In her head, the first year she was married:


My heart keeps going out to you .
Oh, what have you put me through.
It is hard to make love to someone else,
When I keep picturing it's you
I watch tv all day, Wait for you to come home.
I open the door, but it's not you.
I've made aalu gobi. It's your fav. 
Oh wait, it's not your fav.
Maine pyar kiya is on tv, Remember when I watched it with you?
But it wasn't with You.
I call out your name. But that's not Your name.
Oh wth have you done.
Why is it so hard for me to love.
Someone else, that's not you?


And then time passes by. A year later,
Old memories are overridden by the new ones. 
Golf is her favorite sport now.
New facets of her personality blossom because of the person she is with. 
She's happy now, in love all over again.
You win some and you lose some. 
The game's called life..

Men and their types(?)

There are men who like women just because of our pretty faces. Liking us for they we are and how we think is something that I want in Him (No, not Ashton Kutcher). It's nice to know there are guys who look beyond a pretty face and seek out girls who have some brains. Some guy I knew in college was gaga over me because I got 20/20 in some subject. Lol. Kiddy but cute. But feels good now that I think of it. Or maybe he just wasn't lucky?
If you are thinking, "Eh? What has luck got to do with that?" then, Read on..

I think every guy would fall  under one of these categories:

The One-Nighters:
These guys would hit on anything that moves. I don't know how it works. I mean, how can you just chat up and go to bed with someone for a day, and then totally forget about them the next day?
How come there is no urge to talk to them the next day? Is that all guys want?
This guy, Did it with some 10 girls (atleast) and then settled with a girl who is super pious and innocent. Talk about double standards!
Bottom line, these guys would take anything that comes their way, but will settle only with who their parents choose for them.

Come to think of it, I can't think of any other category! Gahahahaha!
You might think there is atleast, maybe one other category that would not go after what was written above. But, no. Don't be mistaken. The set of men is a Universal set, it's just that some of them weren't 'lucky' enough to get what they want. And the search for a pretty face never ends..