Mommy feelings

You know what? I think I am ready to have babies. Yeah, I'm not married but the funny thing is, I don't have the urge to get married - that idea is almost repulsive, but I would love to have kids of my own. But since one is dependent on the other, I don't really have a choice.

Went to a colleague's house yesterday. She has two kids aged 4 and 2 and I was with the 4-year-old girl most of the time I was there. It felt so good to carry her around- when kids cling onto you, isn't it the best feeling in the world? I had this warm feeling in my chest and didn't want to put her down, but after a while it got tiring. So then I kept her engaged, talking to her. How cute they are when they hold on to your hair. And talk in that nonsensical kid chatter which even though doesn't make sense, is so sweet to the ears. But, It is quite a task keeping them engaged, making sure they don't fall. They are so prone to accidents, no matter how much you try, you can't really avoid them. All mom feelings swept over me.
Are there other girls who feel this way to? I'm 23, so I guess it's natural to have these feelings. Or are my feelings pre-mature?
By the way, does this happen to guys? Do you guys feel the urge have kids when you  are single? At what age does that happen, if it ever does? 

Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants ;)

Remember in one of my previous posts I wrote I am going farther away from everyone as each day passes by? Turns out, every problem has a quick-fix solution. Except of course if it is of the NP-Hard variety. No matter which part of the world you are in, the heart to heart connection is just a phone call away! I usually speak to Mom for about 10 mins everyday. But last night it went on for about an hour And then spoke to my sis. I think I found my best friend for life yesterday.

There was a point in life when I wouldn't share anything with her. That happened because, I once told her a couple of things and she was like,I'll go tell Mom and Dad wait! :)) Who would want to share anything with such a kid? So  from that point on, we only spoke about impersonal stuff and the gap between us widened.

Somehow yesterday we got talking and went on for a couple hours. All the biggest, darkest secrets of our lives came tumbling out. Some were shocking. Some funny. But whatever it was that we shared, both of us felt the gap close. And THAT people, is the best feeling in the whole wide world.

We're both so different in so many ways, yet we share so many common things. (Common parents for one. :P ) But on a more serious note, both of us hate it when someone we talk to, maybe just an acquaintance, goes and talks about us to others. We wouldn't do that to others. And expect the same from them.
We don't talk that much, although the degree varies- she's of the extreme variety-keeps mum most of the times whereas I only talk to certain people.

Sisters have similar tastes in clothes? Don't know, but we do. And it doesn't match with the other set of cousins that we have.

Just remembered something. I sometimes hate eating Rice. But was forced to eat it every morning. (This was when I was in the third grade and she didn't go to school yet. ) Mom wasn't looking and I put all my stuff in her plate. Paap she had to eat her stuff + mine. Some random memory. Feels nice now that I think of it. :)

On this note, listen to Evanescence. Or something else. Your wish ba! :D
P.S. : The title is the name of a movie she once loved.

Miss you Dad.

It might sound out of the blue, but it has been on my mind for a while now. I have this feeling that as each day is passing by, I am going farther and farther away from everyone. Especially my Dad. To begin with I was really close to him. Usually girls tend to share everything with their Moms, right? But in my case, it was quite the opposite. I would tell everything to my Dad first and then he would tell Mom. So much so, that the first time I had my periods, I told Dad about it!

I was the apple of my Daddy's eye. I would readily agree to whatever he asked me to do. I had a Mushroom cut during my teenage years- the time when everyone is trying to dress up and be more feminine. I remember wanting to grow my hair after a certain point but held back because Dad liked it this way.

He was the funniest guy I knew. I loved his jokes. Like, ALL of them. I was his favorite kid. I started off watching cricket and liking it because he liked it. I think everyone is careless as a kid. Everyone makes mistakes. Mom would be the one who would always keep complaining saying look at her she is so careless/irresponsible. But Dad always overlooked it all and tried to save me from her wrath.

Then it began to change. Everything from cricket to hairstyle. From the jokes to the possessiveness. He slowly started agreeing with Mom. Things gradually began to change. But I remember this particular instance and things changed dramatically. I remember someday something happened, and he was like, your Mom always used to point out your mistakes and I would overlook them. But now I see that she was right.

And that's when he ceased being my God. That's when I started moving farther away from him. Now, I don't share anything with anyone. What is the point? Everyone's going to judge you anyway. Even your parents.

I know these are growing up issues. And I really want to get back to being my Paa's girl. I don't know what to do. I miss him. I wish he could see I am grown up and treat me like an adult. But then again, for him I will always be his daughter who he has to protect from the world.